Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.