I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.