Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think your dad took our porno