Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.