HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.