In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt