don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
