There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.