I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"