I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.