She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.