Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Send us your Text From Last Night!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22