I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.