all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?