I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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