I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least