I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.