Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.