I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Send us your Text From Last Night!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.