We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"