I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.