there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.