Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Send us your Text From Last Night!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night