I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.