Holy sore nipples Batman
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"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21