I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.