I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?