If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon