Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Send us your Text From Last Night!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich