About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard