Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
why is half of my head shaved?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
