This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.