You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.