I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage