I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off