If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED