The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.