She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is this like a preordered booty call?