You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.