Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"