We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine