So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?