If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.