Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dating After Heartbreak
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.