Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'd cum for enchiladas.