He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.