Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.