The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?