Well I just put wine in my tea
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away