In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.