how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.