Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?