oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.