Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked