I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.