is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.