you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?