I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there