No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.