OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.