She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
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I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.