the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do you still have your period?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
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No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.