Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...