I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
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you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you