I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.