Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.