...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.