Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.