quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.