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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Welp...herpes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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