I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.