Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."